Lo and behold! I have survived a full calendar month in Thailand, as of today (assuming I don't get taken out by a motorbike on the way to class, which is a very real and constant possibility here.)
As I walked to the gym yesterday, I had thoughts scurrying about the old cranium from the day prior. I am very predisposed to not dwelling on events, not getting wrapped up in silliness, and generally keeping cool under a wide range of stressful, foreign and/or complicated circumstances. I have been accused of being a robot in the past, for my lack of emotional response, to put it in that perspective. And it's not to say that I was necessarily dwelling on the day before; I was just having a realization that I had really unrealistic expectations about this place when I was leaving the USA.
It turns out, I was completely naive, and not just about Thailand, but about anything outside my home country really. I had not considered that I might be making some comfort concessions, giving up some "luxuries" to which I am accustomed (potable tap water anyone and private laundry services, anyone?) and that I could, just possibly, have a less-than-100% positive experience here. Turns out, those things are all very real.
I had, in my thoughts on my walk to the gym, the disappointing realization that, the day before, in this country where "the people are so friendly," I had experienced no less than four completely negative interactions with a variety of people. Be they randoms I passed on the street, classmates or even the student with whom I was supposed to be working on a group project that devolved into a shitstorm in about ten minutes, I just had a shitty day when it came down to the people I had to deal with. As it turns out, people are just people wherever you go, and no matter how many times others try to tell you "oh they are just so nice!" you are going to deal with real people who have real problems and real lives, that might not want to give you the time of day, or they might be sick of your poor attempts to speak their language, or your work ethic that you think isn't very good actually scares them because you work too hard in their eyes. Or, locals might peg you as some idiot tourist (happens once an hour) and then they laugh about you as you walk past, and while you can't understand them, you know they are talking about you. (An aside to that thought, is that it is sort of comical, because I am keenly aware of the power of my inability to understand at that moment. They can say anything on earth, and you just keep walking with a smile.)
So anyway, I just had a dose of reality bouncing around in my mind on my way to move some iron. I considered how stupid it was to have come here expecting nothing but AMAZING ALL THE TIME. Well, even Disneyworld will get boring to a 6 year old eventually. Duh, I am in a developing country where I witness, first hand, all the same stuff that happens back home; pollution, poverty, politics and people just trying to make it another day.
Still, I am generally having a great time. Yes, the food is wonderful, but I miss my gigantic, savory-flavored American portions. I see pictures of the mountains and rivers of Idaho and would just rather be home fishing right then and there. Homesick? Nah. But damn, I would kill for a rare tri-tip and a sixer of a good IPA.
- Nick
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